As many of you know, we sent our oldest son Brayden off on his mission over the summer. He is serving in Honduras. We’ve been so grateful to have weekly conversations with him, often over FaceTime as a family. Lately, as we’ve been talking with him, I’ve been reminded of one of the hardest but most valuable lessons I learned during my own time in the Dominican Republic.
When I first got there, learning Spanish felt impossible. My head would hurt every single day from trying to piece together what people were saying. I remember it took me a few months before I could finally roll my “R’s” and say something as simple as rojo. It was exhausting, and if I’m honest, discouraging.
One day I hit my breaking point. I was so frustrated that I just thought, “Forget this! I’m a gringo from Missouri, not a native speaker. I’m not supposed to sound perfect.” From that moment, I stopped caring what people thought and just started speaking—mistakes, funny accents, broken grammar and all. And something incredible happened: it was like a fog lifted. I started learning faster, understanding more, and finally making progress. Looking back, I realize my own fear of sounding dumb—my worry about what others might think—was the very thing holding me back.
That lesson has stuck with me for years. Confidence and belief in yourself matter more than getting it “right” the first time. Success comes when you give yourself permission to move forward, even if it’s messy.
In the book The Slight Edge Jeff Olson shares a perspective that drives this home. On average only about ten people will cry at your funeral. And if the weather is bad that day half of them won’t even show up. Think about that. The vast majority of the people we worry about impressing or disappointing won’t even be at our funeral if it rains.
So why spend so much of our lives weighed down by other people’s opinions? Why hold ourselves back when what truly matters is living authentically moving toward our goals and being the best version of ourselves?
My challenge to myself, and maybe to you too, is to live with less fear of judgment. To stop worrying about “sounding dumb” or “messing up.” To live boldly even if imperfectly. Because when we do, that’s when the fog lifts and the real growth begins.
With gratitude,
Ryan Hatcher